Hearing from the Other Side - The Husband Version with Tarek El Hajj

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Lessons We Learned From Our Son’s Hearing Journey

This is a deeply personal piece and podcast episode. It’s the first time my husband, Tarek, shares his side of our journey with our son Talal, who is deaf with cochlear implants. Our emotional timelines didn’t match—and that mismatch nearly cracked us open before it brought us closer. If you, too, feel out of sync with your partner while navigating your child’s needs, this is for you.

Our story in brief

• The early signs: Talal’s silence and speech delay at age one triggered questions we didn’t know how to ask. Because autism runs in our family, we initially anchored on autism.
• A father’s hunch: Tarek suspected hearing loss first—long before I was ready to accept it. I called him “crazy.” He stayed focused.
• The uncertainty spiral: Months of mixed signals, misreads, and “wait-and-see” advice. Panic attacks for him, delayed grief for me.
• The test that changed everything: The ABR (Auditory Brainstem Response) confirmed moderate–severe hearing loss. Relief and heartbreak arrived together. We finally had a plan.
• The path forward: Hearing aids, then cochlear implants, parent-involved therapy (AVT), and making home our primary classroom.

9 lessons we learned 

1) Partners grieve on different timelines—and that’s not a failure

I delayed my grief; Tarek panicked before I did and then became calm once answers appeared. Different rhythms aren’t disloyal. They’re human. What matters is learning to meet in the middle without making each other wrong.

2) Uncertainty is heavier than bad news

Before diagnosis, we lived on speculation and Google. The day we finally heard “hearing loss,” Tarek felt relief—because clarity gives direction. When in doubt, pursue the clearest next test.

3) Build a “board of directors” around your child

Grandparents, trusted friends, experienced clinicians—people who steady you rather than spin you. We leaned on our families and a small circle of therapists who respected Talal and our role as parents. Quality over quantity.

4) Keep the narrative with the family, not the diagnosis

In hospital settings, it’s easy for a new label to take over the story. We learned to protect Talal’s narrative—curious, capable, kind—so decisions served him, not just the label.

5) Parent-involved therapy compounds

We chose AVT (Auditory–Verbal Therapy) and home coaching. Instead of outsourcing progress to a clinic schedule, we learned how to teach. Every mealtime, car ride, bath, and bedtime became practice. That’s how minutes turn into mastery.

6) Teach without expectations (but with intention)

Tarek’s shift: stop forcing outcomes; follow interest + repetition + joy. Paw Patrol names unlocked speech in ways “count to three” didn’t. The data: when the child is motivated, learning accelerates.

7) Celebrate micro-wins out loud

“Car.” A look. Turning to name. Wearing hearing aids to school without drama. **Small wins are not small—**they’re compounding signals to a child’s brain and to your own.

8) Turn logistics into rituals

Hospitals, trains, chocolate after appointments—we gamified the grind so the process stayed positive. Rituals regulate everyone, not just the child.

9) Your calm is a curriculum

Kids borrow our nervous systems. Tarek’s calm made hospitals feel safe. My steadiness came later. Regulation is the first lesson, every day.

“There’s no one who knows your child better than you. There are people who can teach better than you. Invite them to teach you.” —Tarek

The father voice matters

Tarek didn’t want the spotlight. He wanted our son to have the credit. He also wanted it on record that Talal is the hero of his own story—brave, curious, and joyful. Fathers like Tarek carry quiet wisdom that families need to hear. If you’re a dad reading this: your voice matters.

If you’re here right now

If you’re waiting for answers, in panic mode, or grieving on a different timeline than your partner:

• You are not late. You’re arriving with the information you have today.
• You are not alone. Many of us are walking the same strange hallway.
• You can help right now. One loving, consistent response repeated daily changes brains.

Talal, if you read this one day: you are the bravest person we know. Thank you for teaching us how to listen.

Hear the full story on the podcast.